One for the books, my darlings, one for the books....
Help! So, the SO just got ANOTHER message from a friend asking why he wasn't invited to the wedding! I don't understand this...I would never think to ask why I wasn't invited to something I wasn't invited to. Is it common for people to be so rude? So many people have asked about it and no one seems to understand this was supposed to be a small, destination wedding for family and a few close friends. What can we say? Anything? Any advice?
Oh, honey. If I had a nickel... I'd like to start by apologizing on behalf of disastrously rude people everywhere. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this...planning your wedding is supposed to be fun. I think every couple deserves that.
Now to answer your questions. First, I wish I could say that people losing their fool heads whenever they hear the word "wedding" was uncommon. Alas, I cannot. Every couple I have ever known has had to deal with crazy-making, wildly inappropriate chow-chow from someone (for us it was The Hubbs' co-workers).
The guest list is a source of contention for many a betrothed couple. There are no perfect answers and you're bound to have a couple of uncomfortable conversations. Nevertheless, communication is key if you want people to understand. "We would have loved to invite you, but we cannot afford a large wedding.", or something similar is probably the most succinct approach. Your friends, the ones who actually love and respect the both of you, will graciously accept your terms. Those who don't...well, you may want to reevaluate their position in your lives.