02 August, 2012

Living Authentically: If You Don't Blog It, Did it Really Happen?

I have written and rewritten this post at least 10 times.  It's been a reflective experience and I think I am finally to the place where this post makes sense.  

Wow, guys.  Have I had a hectic few weeks!  As most of you know, Country Wedding was on July 14th.  By all accounts, it was a success!  The set up was smooth, the couple loved it, and I made it into my bridesmaid's dress and down the aisle on time.  Best of all, I was surrounded by friends. Beautiful, wonderful, silly, zany friends.  It was literally the best weekend I have had in an immeasurable amount of time.  The only downside was, I keep feeling like I was missing something.  There were photos I didn't take, people I didn't tag, tweets missed, posts left untyped.  The whole time I was enjoying this blissful celebration of love, I found myself feeling guilty.  Guilty for not sharing it with all of you.  Can you believe?!  That got me thinking and asking myself a lot of important questions: When did social media become more important than our social lives?  Are you, my wonderfully loyal and amazingly talented readers entitled to the most precious parts of my life?  Where is the line?

A few of the aforementioned friends in a blurry picture taken in the midst of a belly laugh.

I find I still don't have the answers.  For instance, I did manage to snap this amazing picture of my friends during their first dance as husband as wife.  The lighting, their faces, guests looking on lovingly...le sigh.  As I jumped to post the picture to Instagram, I thought to myself, "Is this really my moment to share?"  I agonized over that little picture, desperately wanting to share with you the gravity and joy of the experience I was having, but ultimately, I decided to save it.  To protect that delicious little morsel from the interwebs.

As a blogger, I know these are not concepts I ponder alone.  I have read numerous posts from smart, accomplished women sharing their dilemmas and offering their advice. I often see myself in their words. There are many schools of thought...all of them valuable.  I have always chosen transparency for Goldiluxe, even when my truth is a bit dark.  I've never once regretted that choice. Maybe I'm feeling like I've opened up a floodgate?  Like now that we've established such honesty, I'm having trouble rebuilding my boundaries? Does that make sense?

 Blooms from my ultra sweet hubby.

I won't bore you with the gory details, but I will say that for me, this summer has been a season of reevaluation. After weeks of feeling guilty, I realized (with the support of some really great friends) that it is okay for me to take a step back, to get my shizz in order and enjoy myself once in awhile.  That I am still a devoted wife, a talented designer and a driven business woman, even if I don't blog everyday.  Even if I'm not tweeting ad nauseum.  Whew!  What a load off, amiright?!

 I want to live my life fully, unbound by the pressures of social media. So what does that mean for this space?  It means that I'll still be honest with you, I still may use a few naughty words here and there, I still may tell you more than you want to know sometimes.  You'll still see all the things you're used to seeing around here.  What this means is that I am giving myself permission to keep some of my moments, my treasures, my life to myself.  To immerse myself in those moments and experiences as they happen.  To enjoy my loved ones when they are standing right in front of me.  I encourage you to do the same.

Tell, me.  How do you cope when the pressures of social media become too much?

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