15 December, 2011

Let's Hear it For the Boys: Holiday Edition

So, today my blog has been hijacked by someone we all know and love: The Hubbs. He's decided to lay a little dude knowledge on us. It's a touch wordy, y'all...but so totally worth the read. He's kinda funny...when he's not spray painting into the wind (another story....and a good one).

Take it away, Hubbs! 

P.S.  You'll have to excuse the photo...I don't have any pictures of manly gifts...yet.

Holiday Gift Guide: Dudes Edition

So let’s be honest, men are probably a little hard to shop for. We buy the tools we need half ways through the day we planned to build something, we pick up DVDs like apples at the grocery store, when we’re thirsty we buy a $50 bottle of tequila and basically we don’t talk about much stuff and junk so you’re left guessing what we might want. I get it. Perhaps I can start to help you in your (last minute) crunch to scratch off that picky Brohan on your Christmas list…

The top of the list goes only to those guys out there that were really good this year. Or hell, maybe you can just get rid of him for a few days. Where? Where else? Las Vegas of course. I know it’s a little (or, a lot) pricey, but a cursory glance at www.lasvegasgolfgetaways.com gives a starting point at about $1400 for round-trip airfare, 3 days,4nights and greens fees at some of Las Vegas’ top links. Need even more stocking stuffers? Some perennial standards of the masculine DVD variety include such vintage classics as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Leaving Las Vegas, 3000 Miles to Graceland and Ocean’s 11.

You’re obviously not a golfer. HAHAHA! High Five for TBL reference! (The Big Lebowski) I would put that on a list by itself, but he already owns it. All men do. It’s just one of those guy things. Moving on, perhaps your guy prefers to sit quietly and read. Maybe he just really likes drinking. Either way, “Beers of the World,” by Michael Jackson (not, THAT MJ…) is considered by many the world over to be THE definitive reference guide to most things beer. Not enough? He also wrote “Beer Companion,” “Ultimate Beer,” and “The World Guide to Whisky.” Just to name a few. If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to want to drink high quality single malt scotch which can be found at www.thefiftybest.com/spirits/best_single_malt_scotch/ . I’m getting thirsty.

It’s December right now. It’s frigid outside. Cold and snowy. (Yay) So, naturally I think about baseball. A lot. Like every five minutes I’m thinking about ERA for my dream starting rotation. Naturally then, I am never disappointed when someone gets me season tickets. Well, actually that’s never happened. But YOU CAN! Most teams will have already begun selling their season ticket packages by this time, so you might want to scoop them up. The easiest way I’ve found to get to a particular team’s website is by typing this: "city name.team name.mlb.com".  If you’re not interested in spending the 4 G’s or whatever it costs, almost all teams also offer far more affordable packages such as the ever popular 9 game pack. If you’re a Brewers fan, that will cost you about $200. Or gift certificates (also good on merchandise) all make you seem pretty, pretty awesome.

It's the last paragraph, so naturally this is sort of like a grab bag. A dude gift sack if you will. He has a lot of tools, or maybe he doesn't. Either way, he probably doesn't have one of these, and I'm sorry to say, he WILL need it: a Tire Repair Kit in a box. If your warrior guy/viking man/hairiest person at the swimming pool has the same, keen and true sense of direction like this Modern Magellan, start shopping for GPS systems. Baby it's cold outside. Put on another shirt. Or maybe some gloves. And a hat. No? Get in a sleeping bag. Well, try warming up by decorating the tent. Not much for the outdoors? Stay inside. Perhaps something a little risque to open later...a gift you'll both enjoy... . Don't forget the bubbly. It's almost New Year's Eve...

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