You Asked For It: Trouble With Tradition Roundup

Flowers.  A wedding tradition I can get behind!

Hello, dolls!

With the new year underway and wedding season right around the corner, it stands to reason you've been filling my inbox with questions of wedding traditions. Rather than answer them all privately, I've decided to post them here, in case others out there are pondering the same questions.

Blanket Statement about traditions: I don't believe anyone should do anything simply because it's "just what's done". I think people should celebrate their love in whatever way makes sense for them. Take a chance and let your wedding be something truly amazing!


My SO and I are having a dispute. Please tell me when it's appropriate to use a three letter monogram at a wedding and settle the argument.
-This is an easy one (and incidentally one of the few wedding traditions I am 100% behind). A three letter monogram is the combination of the first initials of the bride and groom with the first initial of the new last name (in my case, eEa, which signifies Erin and Andrew Ellingen). It is improper to use a three letter monogram on anything that will reach guests before the reception. So, avoid using a mono on any of the following: save the dates, invites (shower and wedding), programs, and thank you cards for gifts received before the wedding. Opt for a duogram on all of that and give your new mono a big debut at the reception.
 
Traditional invite suite? What the hell, G? Do I still need that shizz?
- I love how you worded this. I know how frustrating this can be. Ok, so. Here's what's in a traditional wedding invite suite: inner envelope, invite, rsvp card, rsvp card envelope, reception card. Frankly, with weddings being as diverse as they are these days, it's more common for each couple to decide what they need and go with that. If you're unsure, try talking with friends or get some advice from a wedding planner. Then weigh your options and go from there.

Wedding suite snappy. Twist tradition with a Guest Book tree.

 

I got an invite in the mail that had a little square of tissue in it. Why? Do I need to put one in ours?-Wow, no kidding? Well, when wedding invitations were gaining popularity, they were often inked by hand or printed using techniques available at the time. These inks took awhile to dry and the tissue was added to keep the invite from smudging whilst in the envelope. Though modern inks no longer smudge, the tradition remained (and is entirely superfluous if you ask me). I do not think it's necessary for you to include.

Is it still tradition for the bride's parents to pay for everything? My family wants to help out, too, but I don't want to step on toes, you know?
-Fun fact: This tradition evolved from the dowry system. You know, when weddings were basically business mergers arranged by families. Nothing says romance quite like being bought and sold. That being said, I think it's far more common these days to see a combination of both the couple and their respective sets of parents chipping in. You'll just have to sit down and talk with those involved and work out the details for yourselves.

For this wedding, we bucked tradition and used a series of chalkboard programs.

My Mom seems hellbent on having a sit down dinner because it is the traditional thing to do. We want to do something like a chic bar or family style thing. Would this be out of the question?
-There are so many options available to today's couples that I can't imagine you couldn't come to some sort of agreement. I think, if done well, food bars and family style dining can be exceedingly charming. Right now, I'm in love with food trucks. I think having your own little street fair is magniff. Maybe take your Mom along on some of your food excursions and show her what's out there. She may end up loving your idea!
 
I want my dude best friend to stand up with me and my honey wants his sister on his side. Has that ever been done?
-I am seeing this more and more and I absolutely love it! For me, bridal parties should be made up of people that have helped make us who we are. It shouldn't be a popularity contest, a savvy political move or a stuffy tradition. It's about the two of you and not necessarily about making everyone else happy.

There we have it! Some of my favorite questions of the week. Keep 'em coming, dolls. You can e-mail me at goldiluxeevents@gmail.com.

Kisses!
E