Excuse Me, but Where Are You Going With My Domino?

Okay, folks I probably should have said something sooner but I think I was in deep denial. But now, there is no escape from the truth.

Domino Magazine is no more. Never to return. Our collective economic disarray has claimed yet another victim.

Let's take a moment to honor this giant among magazines. Who, but Domino could give us a fresh, new take on decorating? What will my next party be without Domino.com's clever advice on choosing artisanal cheeses?

Seriously, this magazine was spot on in introducing a whole new generation to the art of decorating. This was also a perfect magazine to use when looking for wedding inspiration.

Mark my words, there will never be another magazine that pairs as nicely with Sunday afternoons and Pinot Grigio.

Not in My "Favour"

Today, I wish to discuss a wedding pet peeve of mine. This particular one has more to do with "putting on airs" than anything else.

I want to take the time to say this: If you are not from England, I'm guessing you were never taught to spell "honor" and "favor" with an "ou". Somewhere along the line, someone out there decided that in order to have formal, elegant wedding invitations for American weddings, you must use this largely British spelling. Not so, my friends.

Formality and elegance in my opinion have everything to do with presentation and absolutely nothing to do with alternate spellings of common words. There are literally thousands of ways to convey these attributes without resorting to......what's the word......."an inflated sense of spelling", if you will. Trust me, folks, if you present your guests with an exquisitely crafted, stylishly executed invitation suite-they'll get the picture.

Enough scolding. Your tip, you ask? Well, today there are two.

First, elegance and formality are not the same. They are not mutually exclusive. Elegant weddings are not always formal, in fact the more memorable ones never are. The same could be said for the reverse. Formality does not always lend itself to elegance. Often times, if executed incorrectly, formal weddings can seem stuffy and unwelcoming. When a couple learns the difference between the two ideas and is able to articulate their interpretation of them, a formal yet extremely elegant wedding is born.

Now back to the invitation.

In life, it's not always what you say that matters; it's often how you say it. This is a phrase most often used by Moms (and most frequently uttered, of course, during those surly teen years). And were they ever right. To convey a sense of formality without the use of pesky alternate spellings, try playing with the wording. Instead of , "Please join us" try "Mr. Groomie Smith and Ms. Bridey Jones cordially invite you to celebrate...etc". Or, for the tradition-obsessed, "Mr. and Mrs. Jones request your participation in the marriage celebration of their daughter...etc."

Too lofty? That was for us too. We longed for a middle ground. Andy and I decided to spell out the words for the values of number and time (i.e. Friday the twenty-seventh of February at six-thirty in the evening). We hoped to retain some formality while dialing down the haughtiness of the rest of the wording. Not at one with the words? There are several books and articles to help get you started. However, don't always copy. Find what you like and make it your own. Staying true to who you are as a couple is the most elegant thing you can do.

You, Me and a Trojan Horse Makes Three Tonight

Ok, so if you're wondering why you saw no helpful tips and lovely pictures last night, it would be because I encountered a pesky virus. We got it taken care of, but it was far too late for me to post anything (boo). We'll try again tonight, what do you say?

New month. New chapter. New name?

In honor of our recent nuptials, I have decided to give Holy Matrimony! a bit of a makeover. I am starting with the title. I wanted it to read more like an exclamation (think like "Holy cow!") and I'm not convinced it does the trick. I've been toying with the idea of a title change for awhile, especially considering my own impending title change.

But what to do? What do you think?

Back in the Saddle

Hello, readers!

Well, the cake has been cut, the music has ended, and the taffeta masterpiece has been taken to the cleaners. I am happy to say I am now back at it and I have more ideas than ever!

I cannot believe that almost a month has gone by since my last post. And what a serious post at that! My wedding was everything I could have imagined and more. Everything came together beautifully (more on that later)!

Tonight, I would like to talk about the power of the "Save the Date" card. It will be the first in my series on invitations. If you'll remember, we explored the various printing techniques. So, what do you do now that the perfect design in within reach (and more importantly, within budget)? You tune in tonight, that's what!

I'm so happy to be back!

Monster in Law: Fact or Fiction?

We've all heard the horror stories about in-laws. We've all listened to the jokes, laughed and, in most cases prayed "it doesn't happen to me someday". I, like many others, have watched my share of "Who's Wedding is it Anyway?" and seen the horrific, fire-breathing in-laws plaguing the lives of the unsuspecting Bride or Groom who doesn't have any idea how inadequate they are. But is this true in real life? Does that have to be the way it is? Is this idea of the "Monster In-Law" fact or fiction?

I was raised by two incredible people. Like most girls today, I was raised to believe in myself, to be self-sufficient and to be honest and direct. I speak my mind, even if my position isn't the popular one, I try to do what is right and I try to fix my problems rather than sweep them under the rug and pretend they aren't there.

I have recently learned that to some, these are not traits to be proud of. I have learned that some families don't want a son/daughter in law to say what they feel. They want a daughter in law who allows bad social behavior and is willing to pass it off as a harmless personality trait that shouldn't be taken personally. I disagree.

I do not believe toxic behavior should be encouraged. I do not accept the idea that our nature as people should be used as an excuse to treat others however we choose with no fear of recourse. We teach our children words cannot be taken back once they are said. We also teach them to accept responsibility for their actions. If these are things are important enough to teach our children, should they not be followed during adulthood?

My relationship with my future in-laws has been severely damaged. Things have been said about my character that will take a long time to forgive. It will take me a long time to find the desire to allow trust to be rebuilt. But, sadly neither party is innocent in this. I have a bothersome tendency to want to bite back when I feel attacked. Regretfully, this week I bit back. I cannot take back the words I said, nor do I want to. I can admit my misstep, apologize and try to move forward. In the recent firestorm my relationship with Andy has been affected. I really had to consider if my love for him was enough to allow the kind of treatment I was receiving to continue for the rest of my life. This week, I wasn't sure it was. I couldn't find an appropriate place in that family and I wasn't sure I wanted to continue to look for one. All of this, 9 days before the wedding.

I am happy to report that Andy and I are fine. We are headed down that aisle in 6 days and I couldn't be happier.

Why all the doom and gloom today? I wanted my tip to be about something real and important. Please, do not apologize for who you are. Never let someone invalidate your feelings, if YOU believe they are justified. Do not expect to always be met with acquiescence, people when hurt are often irrational. If you are about to best your opponent with a verbal spear, remember where its coming from. Try to consider the feelings of the other side even if they don't always consider yours. ALWAYS be honest and direct but be tactful as well. (Tact can often be my own personal Achilles Heel.) Tactfulness is a useful skill. It may not always be appreciated, but it will be respected when the battle is over. But above all this, remember that your relationship with your soon to-be spouse should be first on your mind. Protect that. You are marrying the person, not the family. The fact is, they call it the "high road" for a reason. It's hard to find and even harder to travel, but it is always worth it.

So, fact or fiction? Fact. But how long it lasts is up to you.

Unveiled!

This is my ridiculously delicious, hand made veil! I am just in awe of the exquisite handiwork and its overall appeal. This lovely model, in a picture taken by Miss Brenda looks absolutely beautiful! I thought it was wonderful that Brenda wanted me to see her work before she sent it to me.

I searched and searched for a unique veil that would fit my dress, my decor, and my style. This proved to be difficult. First of all, my gown is soft gold, not ivory or white. I also knew I did NOT want a blusher. Ugh. Blushers are beautiful for some brides, just not at all for me. Finally I settled on a birdcage style veil. I've always loved them and they are so undeniably retro I just knew it would be a match made in heaven.

Unfortunately, I soon learned that cage veils in champagne were hard to find. Enter Etsy and the ever so talented Brenda. Her Etsy site is wonderful, everything was beautifully made. After about 10 seconds, I knew I had to have her make mine. Armed with my opinion, pictures of my dress and her super ability; Miss Brenda crafted this little beauty for me in no time. The result as you can see, is flawless. It is so much better than what I had in my head, more than I could have imagined. I am so excited to wear it.

Just another reason why handmade is the absolute BEST way to go. If you are anything like me, you are a strong-willed, detail oriented lady with a whole "master plan" in mind. My ideas have been fairly specific and hard to find. Going with custom made pieces has really been the only way to get the look I wanted. I am so lucky to have found such talented artisans to bring my vision to light.

Your tip? Surround yourself with talented vendors whom you feel comfortable. Make sure they can work well with you and can properly execute your vision. Try to find people you like as people too. Compatibility is an asset in any relationship. You may have to search for the perfect team a little longer than the next gal, but it will be well worth it.